Have you ever looked at someone and felt an immense attraction to them? I’m not talking about romance or sex. I’m talking about love.
That sounds really stupid.
I’m going to continue now.
It was the summer vacation before my last year in middle school and since I was living in one of those subdivisions that had neighborhood barbeques, there was a get together going on at the new people’s house. A small family moved in across the street from me and everyone was bringing food over to welcome them to the neighborhood. I didn’t want to go, but I was forced to anyway.
I showed up as my usual stereotypical Emo Kid self, in my black hoodie and black jeans and stupid black hair. I felt awkward because there were a lot of loud people around. I needed to find a place to hide and sit this thing out.
“So, that’s about it,” she smiled. The tall blonde woman who had apparently bought this house had finished giving us a small tour. “You can go hang out in my son Dustin’s room if you want,” she said to me. She seemed really nice, but I don’t fall for that kind of thing anymore. “Feel free to make yourselves at home.”
I decided to wander around. I got pretty good at being invisible. There were still too many people around though so I decided to go see if that room would be any better. I walked down the hall and gingerly cracked open the door. There was a number of kids in here. I was already there though, so I might as well just go inside.
It was awkward. I sat next to another emo loser-looking kid like me and we were quiet in the corner together. I found out that he was Dustin. I could tell that he wasn’t really having a good time either.
We made eye contact though. I looked at him… and he looked at me. Shocker, right? Never saw that coming.
His eyes were different from anyone else’s eyes that I had ever seen. That’s what was so different. That’s why I still care about him even though it’s been a few years. I miss him.
Anyways, getting a little off topic here, sorry.
His eyes were like magnets to my own. They pulled me in, and somehow, I just knew that this kid was really important. Like meeting him was just right. We talked a little, and then we talked some more, and then people began to go outside into the backyard to eat, but not us. We stayed in that corner in his room, by ourselves, still talking and gazing into each other’s eyes like a couple of idiots.
He understood the way I felt. That was a completely new thing for me, being the “load I should have swallowed” according to my mother. I found this new thing and it was pretty okay.
Then something really edgy and retarded happened but I have to tell you everything for some reason so here it goes. Just think of it as two souls connecting in a moment of passion, or something overly dramatic and poetic, alright?
We started self harming together. Yeah yeah, I know, that’s not a good thing, but it displays how much we connected and understood each other… I guess.
And then we started making out.
It was pretty wild. No sex though, calm down. Just a couple of retards thinking they’re being deep and profound by cutting each other up and rubbing their faces together. After that we hung out a lot. Then we hung out all the time. School started up again, and it was 8th grade. Woohoo, 8th grade, we’re practically adults now right? Ahhh boy.
8th grade goes by, and it was pretty nice. I mean, we still got bullied, but we were getting bullied together. We met a girl and a suicidal boy and we had ourselves a nice little group of misfits. Dustin was kind of what kept us all from drifting apart. He was sort of like the center of our pathetic little group. He was funny, but he was also serious and deep. He was apparently bisexual too, so that was kind of nice. I mean, since I’m gay and I’ve never really met any other dudes who like dudes. That whole oppressed childhood thing. You know.
Ahhh all the great gay jokes me and him made.
Then 8th grade ended and he moved away. So that was perfect.
I spent all summer crying like a baby. So did he. We became the most important people to each other, and now we were being ripped away from each other. Even now, since he’s not with me, I feel like a piece of me is missing. The group that we had started to drift away too. But that wasn’t so bad. I mean, it’s not like he’s dead or anything. At least we can still Skype, but it’s not the same.
So uh backstory time.
Dustin’s Backstory™: His parents fought a ton and ended up getting a divorce, and his sisters were upset and blamed it on him. He always felt like he was bad and outcasted. After the divorce, his mom and sisters moved to the neighborhood I was living in, and we became friends. His mom got remarried to a real asshole later though, so they ended up moving because of his step dad’s job. We’ve kept in touch this whole time and we’ve even visited each other a few times since the move.
While he was moving, I had other things going on, too. New things, big things, steps backwards, and bigger steps forward.
(Part Three [Cloudy] End. To be continued.)