Ramblings of an Adolescent

The stars in my universe, the sun in my solar system, the light that bursts through the clouds in the morning, the breeze that blows through my hair and makes me feel alive. He’s all of these things, and he makes me feel alive.

We’ve always had this overly dramatic relationship, and by overly dramatic, I don’t mean that we have drama. I mean that we are so fond of each other that we are constantly around each other. We say silly things like the entire paragraph above. We make our relationship out to be bigger than it really is because in reality, it’s just a couple of humans who like each other. But to us, we are each other’s inspiration.

I have never been fond of romance.

I’ve never been good at romance.

But he makes me want to try… or something.

I still haven’t figured it out. Like I said, I’m not fond of romance. I don’t understand it. My way of solving problems is to think and reason through them and, well, from what I’ve discovered, love is something that is proving to be difficult to reason with.

Maybe it’s just because I’m a hormonal teenager.

Or maybe it’s because I…

Because I’m falling in love with him?

But something in my subconscious scoffs at the thought of that. And I don’t know whether that’s because the idea of me falling in love is silly or if it’s the idea of me falling in love with him.

This is the thing that drives me crazy. I just can’t think this through, it’s something I have to feel.

 

My stomach is turning because he’s sitting right next to me and I don’t know if I want to embrace him with love or push him away and try to get over it.

I can’t even think of doing either right now.

“Time will tell.”

Time

What a cruel thing, for one such as myself.

-Shaun

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